Golden Globes 2015 Fashion Review

I know I have been horribly neglectful lately, so sorry. Truth is, I was busy, and now I am kind of blah. Just haven’t been too inspired lately. And spending a lot more time on work that actually makes me money. Kind of important if I want to keep shopping and have some more things to be inspired by in the future. Don’t give up on me yet, please!

Anyway, I wanted to get down just a few thoughts on the Golden Globes fashion and the Fashion Police. First off, I only just watched the Fashion Police because I didn’t even realize it was going to be on last night. Did they not advertise it? Probably I just never watch E! anymore since Chelsea left.

I think Kathy Griffin was probably the best choice they could have made to replace Joan. That said, it was making the best of a bad situation, because nobody could replace Joan, obviously. I have a love/hate relationship with Kathy Griffin. I don’t agree with a lot of her politics, so when she starts talking about those, I just want to slap her, so I avoid most of her stand-up for that reason. On the other hand, when she’s slagging off celebrities, I think she’s hilarious. But not last night. For some reason, all she could seem to say about any of them was that they have no sense of humor. Huh? This is not much of an insult, and makes no sense in relation to a fashion show.

I think Kathy has a similar type of humor to Joan’s, so it should have worked, but I’m not sure what happened. I think maybe she just doesn’t know much about fashion. She wasn’t awful, but all in all, it was pretty boring. Some have speculated that maybe she was told to tone it down, so as not to offend Joan’s loyal fans, or Giuliana and Kelly maybe? Maybe somebody thought if she was really zinging the one-liners people would say she was trying too hard to be Joan. Frankly, I just don’t think she ever could be. Kathy has the insults down, and she can be funny with them, but I think she rehearses that shit a lot and carefully plans her funny bits. Joan, on the other hand, was the Queen of spontaneous one-liners. Kathy will make the digs about celebs that we all want to make. Joan made the ones that were so outrageous, they just blew us away, because we never even would have dreamed of saying that. I miss that. God rest your beautiful, hilarious soul, Joan.

I also heard someone (okay, Wendy Williams, yes, I watch that crap) say they thought Giuliana and Kelly were throwing some shade Kathy’s way on the show. I didn’t get that. They seemed perfectly cooperative to me. I just don’t think Kathy had much to say. Giuliana tried to make up the outrageous factor by being a bit raunchy, but that kind of fell flat, too. Was a little too gross. The best one on the show was Brad Goreski. I like Brad, and I thought he made the smartest and funniest comments of the night. And at least he knows fashion. Maybe he should be the host.

So, on to the fashion of the Globes. I didn’t watch the show. I’m boycotting all awards shows until they wise up and acknowledge The Walking Dead. It is just plain stupid that that show and its actors do not get nominated for anything. I don’t know why they’re snubbed. Maybe the producers of  the show have royally pissed off someone in Hollywood. Or maybe nobody will watch it just because they write it off as some zombie show without bothering to give it a chance.

I don’t know what it is. I understand that the blood and guts may be a bit much for some people to take. But there is so much more to the show than that. And it’s Hollywood who votes for these things, for God’s sake, so they should be able to handle it. And hell, they slobbered all over Breaking Bad for years. Whether the show or its plotline is not someone’s particular cup of tea is a matter of personal taste, I get that, and I understand that most people don’t have any, so that’s cool. But to ignore the absolute best actors on television is just inexcusable. Truly. I have no way to comprehend that level of stupidity.

Ah, I digressed into a rant again. Sorry. Fashion. That’s all these shows are ever about for me, anyway. I usually watch the red carpet part, but missed most of that this time, too, because a friend needed to take me shopping to be her stylist, and I could never say no to that. Here are my humble opinions, for what they’re worth, on the dresses that impressed me, and those that did not.

I would give best-dressed to Julianne Moore. She was stunning beyond words in that silver feathered gown. I bow down to Givenchy. Runner-up goes to Dakota Johnson in Chanel.

Rosamund Pike was one of the first on the carpet, so I did see her before I left. I thought she looked good in Vera Wang, but not amazing. And then sadly for her, Kate Hudson wore a Versace dress so similar, and so much better. I wasn’t crazy for either dress, but Kate looked amazing in hers. That body, OMG. It makes Rosamund’s look a little droopy.

Everybody wanted to rave about George and Amal. She looked good, okay, but it was nothing special, even with the gloves. I couldn’t decide if I liked them or they looked stupid. Then I heard on Fashion Police that she claimed to have made them herself, so I’m afraid I have to go with stupid. Sorry. I’m sure she was hoping to pull off Audrey Hepburn, but didn’t quite succeed. Who designed this dress? I could not be bothered to check.

I also couldn’t figure out why they were all ga-ga over this Lorde person. Okay, I’m not even hip enough to really even know who she is, beyond some sort of singer (so why exactly was she even there?) but I was not impressed. It was a black pantsuit with a halter top. So what? It wasn’t special or pretty. And her odd fake smile was really freaking me out. Creepy, if you ask me.

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Emma Stone’s Lanvin pantsuit was gorgeous, but paled when compared to the better one Emma Watson wore last year. Same for Lupita Nyong’o. I thought she was beautiful in this Giambattista Valli gown, but then when you look at her last year’s dress, there’s just no comparison. It was perfection.

I love Mary Katrantzou, but that dress on Kerry Washington was a miss. It didn’t even look like something she would design. Although I generally love color-blocking, I was not a fan here. The two colors didn’t go together well and the fabric was too shiny. Kerry’s another one that everybody likes to carry on about, but who has never much impressed me in the past. Pretty, but aren’t they all. Amazing? Not in my book.

At first I was pleasantly surprised by Lena Dunham. I thought she’d finally got it right. And it was loads better than anything she’s worn on the carpet before. But then when you look at it close up, it fit weirdly, looked heavy and kind of bunched up. I don’t think her body can really be that lumpy, can it? Does she wear some kind of crazy padding under her clothes or something? Even if it is, a good designer should know how to work with that and still be able to make her look good. Supposedly, Zac Posen has been her friend and designed for her for years. Well, all I can say is, either he really secretly hates her guts, or, I suspect, is really not a designer at all. This must be some kind of huge prank he’s been pulling on us all for years if this is the kind of shit he makes. I wonder who designs his runway shows then? Because if that went down it, he’d have been toast long ago. All in all, she looked good, for her. But that’s not a compliment. And I really do like her.

I thought JLo’s dress was a monstrosity. I can’t believe anybody would praise that look. It somehow was a muumuu, and yet slutty, all at the same time. Icky. Is she gorgeous with a knockout body? Yes, of course. But does she have to show it off all the freaking time? It wasn’t appropriate for an awards ceremony. Looked like a costume. And it wasn’t even pretty.

Claire Danes’ Valentino feathered dress was beautiful up-close. It did not flatter her though, and did not translate well on camera. Worst-dressed though had to go to poor Keira Knightly. Chanel? More like Chan-Hell. WTF was Karl thinking? Poor her. Brad had the best line of the night when he said Chanel must be mad at her right now. Giuliana had the second-best when she said what would make it look great would be setting it on fire.

Well, those are my crazy opinions, for what they’re worth. Probably not much, but feel free to let me know if you agree with my assessments or want to kick my ass.

Images from Instyle.com

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